Feedback and us

As a writer and reviewer in both poetry and prose, I’ve observed varied reactions to feedback. On one end of the spectrum, some individuals see feedback a golden opportunity — a thrilling pathway for improving the work. Gratitude, even for the smallest insights, becomes a transformative force. They find magic, extending thanks to those who offer feedback and recognising its power in every suggestion. On the other end are individuals for whom feedback becomes a confrontation — a challenge to the very essence of their identity as creators. This prompts a question: What’s the source of this varied response?

Several reasons contribute to this divergence. Positive reception often roots in a growth mindset — believing abilities can develop over time. These individuals distinguish constructive critique from personal identity, positioning themselves to embrace and appreciate advice. However, they do not pause the writing process by waiting for feedback and external comments; rather they are impatient, constantly improving their work on their own. Conversely, a less embracing reaction may arise from a fixed mindset, where feedback tightly intertwines with personal capabilities. The emotional investment in their work is so profound that criticism feels like an attack, triggering resistance, a defensive response. As a result, the feedback insights are neither seen nor valued. Past experiences, an overwhelming concern for meeting perceived standards, personal comparisons, and fear of failure further contribute to resistance.

In essence, however, this is how I see it: our response to feedback is a mirror reflecting our perceptions of self and the relationship we share with our craft.